Why Every Church Has Conflict
Your church is full of people — and wherever there are people, there are problems. That’s not a flaw in the design. However, how your church handles conflict determines everything.
In this Live Bold podcast episode, Ryan and Gena Heller bring over 30 years of ministry experience to a topic most churches avoid. They offer a powerful, biblical framework for resolving conflict and building real unity.
What Matthew 18 Actually Teaches Us
Jesus didn’t ignore conflict — He gave us a process for it. The Hellers walk through six clear stages drawn directly from Matthew 18. Therefore, every believer and church leader needs to understand this framework.
The Six Stages of Biblical Conflict Resolution
First, the Personal Stage begins with a one-on-one conversation. This is where most conflicts should end. Also, it’s where most people are tempted to skip ahead.
The Private Stage comes next. Here, you bring one or two trusted witnesses into the situation. Then, if needed, the Church Leader Stage involves pastoral leadership directly.
The Discipline Stage focuses on loving correction — always aimed at restoration, never punishment. The Prayer Stage follows when all other steps have been exhausted. Finally, the Forgiveness Stage is always available, no matter what.
Common Mistakes That Make Conflict Worse
Many people skip steps and go straight to leadership. Others gossip instead of confronting the person directly. Also, a common mistake is confusing forgiveness with reconciliation — they are not the same thing.
What a Conflict-Ready Church Actually Looks Like
The Hellers share real examples — from adultery and abuse cases to helping someone through an eating disorder. Therefore, this framework isn’t just theory. It protects both individuals and the wider church community.
The goal isn’t a church without problems. Instead, it’s a church mature enough to handle them. Churches that master conflict resolution become congregations God can powerfully use.