Some time ago, while living in urban Austin, Texas, I felt there was something different about the place. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Then one weekend I was visiting family at their suburban house in a different city, and I saw it: kids. Toddlers toddling. Moms pushing strollers. Minivans parked outside the school gates. And then it hit me: kids were almost absent from Austin’s inner city.

Don’t get me wrong: there are still families in the city. There are schools, daycares, and playgrounds. But compared to 10 years ago, there are far fewer. The more I surveyed my peers, the clearer it became, young women just aren’t becoming mothers.

For many younger women, motherhood is almost off the radar. It feels too costly, too time-consuming, too much of a disruption to a life of freedom. And the best way to describe this: it’s not a fad. It’s a tidal wave. One generation ago, young women clamored to be called “Mom.” Today, most young women don’t just not want kids, they’re convinced children are a lifestyle accessory, not a lifestyle necessity. They’ll take a pet, a travel adventure, or even more stuff, over a family every day. So the fact is: kids are becoming almost invisible in America’s cities.

The Causes of It

Why the shift? Because culture is still telling women they should value career, independence, and freedom. Motherhood isn’t being celebrated as a gift. It’s being treated more like a roadblock to getting what you really want.

Actress Emma Watson told British Vogue that she was self-partnered and happy to put off (or even skip) having children. Oprah Winfrey has said on multiple platforms that she never wanted children because she didn’t have the patience to care for babies (though she admitted she could care for puppies), as reported in Vanity Fair. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez once questioned (on Instagram) whether it was ethical to bring a child into the world at a time when climate change threatens the planet, as reported in The Guardian.

These are not throwaway comments from high-profile people. These are megaphones for the worldview of millions of people. When celebrities, influencers, and political leaders talk about children as if they are hindrances rather than blessings, people are listening.

The Facts Match the Data

What you see anecdotally you can also see in the numbers. Pew Research Center found that of adults under 50 years old who are unlikely to have children, 57% gave “I just don’t want them” as a reason. A recent study found that nonparents who do not want children increased from 14% of the population in 2002 to 29% in 2023, doubling in less than two decades, according to Futurity.

You may be thinking, “Isn’t that just a personal decision?” Sure, on an individual level. But scale that up across a generation, and what you get is a demographic time bomb: shrinking schools and workplaces, slowing economies, and an aging population that a smaller working class cannot support.

The Spiritual Diagnosis

But behind all the data is something more: a spiritual condition. A broken culture shuns children not just because of finances or the environment, but because of idolatries at the root of our hearts—self, comfort, materialism, and fear. Western culture preaches autonomy as the highest good. The unspoken message of the day is simple: Keep your options open. Don’t let anyone tie you down. Don’t sacrifice your dreams to serve anyone else.

This kind of thinking exalts autonomy over obedience, ease over sacrifice, and self over service. But Scripture calls us to a different vision. “Children are a heritage from the Lord”: Psalm 127:3.Marriage and children are not optional lifestyle accessories. They are gifts from God. Not every woman will get married or have children because of singleness or infertility, but the biblical pattern assumes family life is a blessing, not a burden.

Life is not about self-actualization. It’s about faithfulness. And faithfulness usually involves giving yourself away.

The Blessing We’re Missing

But here’s the good news: children are not a punishment. They are a blessing. Yes, children come with sacrifice. But woven into that sacrifice is deep joy. Children are not the barriers to the good life. They are often the very blessing that makes life good. Ask any parent: the giggles of a toddler, the first wobbly steps, the pride of seeing your child graduate, the hug at the end of a long day. There is joy in that which no paycheck can offer.

Pets age, careers end, and possessions wear out. But children will carry your love, your legacy, and your values into the future. What the world calls a burden, God calls a reward.

The Price Our Culture Pays

When a culture devalues children, it doesn’t just hurt families. It short-changes the future. Lower birth rates mean fewer entrepreneurs, fewer caretakers, and fewer communities full of life. Schools close. Cities gray. And nations get smaller.

Sociologists are warning: when a generation treats children as optional lifestyle accessories rather than the continuation of a society itself, that society is in decline. Biblically, when we treat children as disposable, it reveals a culture more interested in self-preservation than in sacrificial love.

Where Do We Go From Here?

This isn’t just a matter for lament. This is a call for revival. Christians must live counter-culturally. Young couples must see parenting as a sacred calling rather than another lifestyle option. Churches must honor and support moms and dads, celebrating families and mentoring new parents. Believers should incarnate countercultural values: sacrifice, service, and love over self-indulgence. That very choice becomes a testimony to a watching world.

Because when we embrace children, we’re not just embracing our own families. We’re embracing God’s design. We’re saying yes to joy. Yes to sacrifice. Yes to love. A culture built only on self will eventually collapse. But a culture that treasures children, family, and faith will still have a future.

Sources Cited

• Pew Research Center, “Americans are having fewer children, and a growing share say it is unlikely they will ever have kids,” 2021.
• Futurity, “More adults are choosing to be childfree—and that is okay,” 2023.
• Deseret News, “Why some Americans are choosing to remain childfree,” 2022.
• Emma Watson, interview with British Vogue, 2019.
• Oprah Winfrey, interview with Vanity Fair, 2017.
• Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, Instagram Live comments, reported by The Guardian and Business Insider.